I’m in my second year of college and I’m finally getting a feel for this whole college life thing. My first year was so hard. The courses were way different than when I was in high school and everyone expects you to just figure it out on your own. I spent more time trying to get my act together than anything else.
I wasn’t looking forward to coming back to classes until I met this guy that went to a different college than me. I met him while I was at this summer job and he’s in his last year at college and he totally has it all together. I asked him how he did it and you know what he said?
“Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket!”
I had heard of the place before but I’d never been there. It’s a strip club and it just never dawned on me to go I guess. And I had no idea how a strip club could possibly help anyone do better at school.
So, I asked him.
He said, “Look, one of the reasons that most college students have a hard time is because it’s all so stressful. You’re on your own for the first time. Classes are hard. You’re trying to figure out how to deal with money. And the girls – they are so distracting, right?”
He was right about that! There were so many pretty girls I didn’t know which one to look at first.
“You need a way to release some of your frustrations and deal with life,” he said. “Most first year college students try to deal with it by getting drunk and going out with lots of girls – sometimes getting a girlfriend so they have regular sex. I’m tell you, that’s a bad idea. All of that just makes it worse.”
I still had no clue where he was going with this.
“Look,” he said, “you can’t do all that crazy stuff all the time. But you need an outlet once or twice a month. You need a place to go where you can totally relax off campus. You need a place where you are treated well but without the pressure of having a demanding girlfriend around. You need to be able to sit back and have a good time without going overboard and RI Dolls is it.”
“Yes. Think about it. Once a month – maybe twice – you’re going to head to RI Dolls. You’re going to sit down and spend a bit of money on the best food you’ve ever eat. Seriously dude – this is good stuff. And you’re going to have a draft. Drink the first one slowly because your goal isn’t to get drunk here. Your goal is to relax and have a good time. Then the girls are going to come on stage. You’re going to sit back and chill and watch some of the most gorgeous girls on Rhode Island prance around in next to nothing, dance, and smile at you. There’s blondes, redheads, brunettes and everything in between. If you can’t find a girl there that makes you feel good you’re not looking very well.
“And then, you’re going to pick your favorite and get a lap dance. Because there is nothing that will take your mind off school and feeling stressed out more than a sexy lady dancing in your lap. She’s going to smile at you and make you feel like the most amazing man on the face of the earth. She’s better than a girlfriend, because she’s not going to distract you once you get back to school. She’s not going to demand that you spend time with her. And she’s not going to whine when you have to study instead of taking her to some stupid sorority party.
“Then, you’re going to have another drink, watch some more girls dancing, maybe even get a private dance.”
I asked him if this is what he did.
“You bet. Trust me. Got me this far and I’m going to graduate next year at the top of my class. I don’t do the frat parties at school. I don’t have a girlfriend, even though I’ve had the choice to have one. What I do have is my once or twice a month trip to Rhode Island Dolls gentleman’s club. I spend less money there than I would on booze or a girlfriend at college and those couple of trips keep me sane. I have a good time and I stay focused when I need to and I get to get rid of some stress. Just thinking about it calms me down.”
So, now I have a plan! I’m just know my second year of college will be way better and I’m actually looking forward to the next year!