Like most husbands, my wife feels that we need to get as much done as possible on Saturdays. Weekends are not for relaxing, as far as she is concerned. It is for getting things done. On Sundays we do stuff around the house – clean, fix things, reorganize the furniture – whatever crazy thing she comes up with.
But Saturdays are errand days. In order to get as much done as possible, she has us split up. She heads one way in her car with her list and I go my way with my list. She gives me the same things to do each week because I guess she figures I will get it done faster. She can never figure out why it takes me so long. And if she phones, I just say I was driving and couldn’t answer her call or text. I mean, she wouldn’t want me to be unsafe on the road would she?
Sometimes she complains about how long it takes me to get my list done. But mostly she is just glad that I am doing something. So many of her friends’ husbands don’t help at all.
And I do help. I actually do all the things on the list of stuff to do on Saturdays. But it doesn’t take me nearly as long as she thinks it does. In fact, I’m so good at doing most of the things on that list and getting from place to place that I’m usually done in an hour or maybe a little more if traffic is busy. I know exactly where to find things in every store that I have to go to. I stay focused. I don’t stop to chat with people I might meet that I know. I just wave and say, “the wife is waiting for me!” and they nod their head in understanding and go about doing their own thing.
So, what am I doing the rest of the time that she thinks it takes so long? I’m at Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket of course! The faster I get my stuff done, the sooner I can get to RI Dolls and relax for a bit.
Rhode Island Dolls opens at 3 PM on Saturday afternoons so that gives me a goal. Get in and get out – I know exactly how much time I have at each store. There’s no cover at RI Dolls before 6 PM either so I don’t have to spend extra money. And because it isn’t quite as busy as normal, there aren’t a lot of other guys around to steal the attention of the dancers away from me. In fact, it is usually pretty quiet so the dancers are quite happy to see me.
I always make sure to have cash on hand to tip the girls that are performing in the afternoon. Since it is usually not the busiest shift, they are super happy that a paying customer has come in and they pull out their best moves.
I don’t drink alcohol in the afternoon because my wife will smell it on my breath and because I need to drive home, so that gives me a little extra spending money. And what do I do with that?
Well, I usually treat myself to a private dance. There’s one girl there that often works the Saturday afternoon shifts. I won’t tell you her name – my little secret – but she’s got booty to spare, she’s soft in all the right places, and she’s got a long mane of blonde hair that drives me wild. I just love it when she lets her hair dangle in my face as she’s dancing just for me. She smells like the ocean and her smile fills my dreams at night.
Honestly, I think that my wife wouldn’t even care at this point if she knew the truth. But for now, I think it will be my little secret. I know she has her secrets, too. Everyone deserves to have some special time that is just for them.
So guys, get it together. Figure out how to do those errands super fast. Find someone that will let your kids hang out with their kids for a few hours. There is something they need in exchange so just figure it out and then provide it for them. Give your wife what she needs and then you get you have what you want – like a couple hours with the sexiest women you’ve ever seen at Rhode Island Dolls gentleman’s club in Woonsocket. Be creative and “doing errands” can be as much fun for you as it is for me!