I always thought I knew who I was. I was a football player, a jokester, and more importantly, I was Cassandra’s boyfriend. We were together since our first year in high school. We did everything together. We were going to get married, buy a house, and have 3 kids – in that order.
We graduated from high school and went to separate colleges because of our chosen careers. We got through the first year, the second year – and then in the third year, all hell broke loose. She started seeing this other guy and told me she needed to explore life more and we broke up. Well, she broke up with me.
For a while, I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know how to date, so I didn’t. I managed to make it through my third and fourth years of college, but I was lost. I even doubted my career choice.
A buddy convinced me to come to a strip club with him one night. I’d never been to one before because Cassandra thought the were low class. My buddy swore it would be good for me. I couldn’t imagine how.
After that first night at Rhode Island Dolls, something felt different. So, I went again. And again. And again.
The first night at RI Dolls, I was sitting at a table with my buddy and this sexy blonde stripper came up and started talking to us. I’m pretty sure she could sense my shyness, but that didn’t make her walk away. She kept up the conversation. She was smoking hot, with a red sheer dress with lots of sparkles and sexy high heeled shoes. That’s when my buddy bought me my first lap dance.
That blonde dancer was amazing. She showed me things I’ve never seen girls do before. I got a private dance from her later that night, too. And whenever I see her at the club now, I’m reminded that I can talk to beautiful women. I can have a conversation with them. And I don’t know what it is, but she reminds me that I don’t have to have a girlfriend to be worth something. Weird, hey?
Since then, I’ve been back to the club many times. I gradually started feeling more confident in myself as I learned to talk to the dancers. I know that they are there because it is there job and that I didn’t really have a relationship with any of them, but it made me feel good to talk to women at all without feeling like I was an idiot.
And I’ve enjoyed the food and the camaraderie with the other customers. Being at RI Dolls just makes me feel comfortable. I feel at home there.
My buddy reminded me that there is more to life than dancers and beer though. I met a girl – outside of the club. In my third year of college, after Cassandra dumped me, I never would have had the nerve to even talk to her, but because of the beautiful Dolls at the club, I was feeling more confident in myself. I did talk to her finally. And eventually, I asked her out.
We aren’t together any more but that’s ok. We weren’t really compatible. But since then I’ve moved on and I’ve dated several women. I have a great job and I think I might have met “the one.” She’s a sweet girl but she’s got an edgy side. She even comes to Rhode Island Dolls with me sometimes. The dancers all think she is great.
I think it is pretty serious. I’m going to ask her to come and meet my parents this weekend. But I know that if she says no and she’s not serious about me, I’ll be ok. Because I know who I am now.
I’m not saying that Rhode Island Dolls will change everyone’s life. But it did change mine. The dancers and the club in general just helped me discover who I am. It let me know that change was ok. It reminded me that just because I played football once it didn’t mean that I always had to be defined as a football player. And that a relationship wasn’t the primary way to define who I am. I’m a lot of things. And many of those things are good. And Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket, RI helped me learn that.