High school was rough for me. I was a total geek. I was small for my age and really skinny. Sports were not my thing at all. I spent most of my time in the computer lab and in the school library. I never had dates. Girls just weren’t into me. I was very into them though.  Especially the ones that wouldn’t give me the time of day.

I had a real crush on the head cheerleader. She was super nice. At least I thought she was. I finally got the guts to talk to her and at the end of senior year I asked her out. By that point, I actually thought I had a chance because she wasn’t like the other girls.  She would actually talk to me in the halls sometimes – not necessarily a whole conversation but at least she didn’t ignore me.  

It was the last month of school when I asked her out. It was the hardest thing I had ever done to that point in my life.  And she laughed.  Yes, she laughed.  Not a mean guffaw or anything, but a shocked nervous laugh.  She pulled me aside and said, “You’ve got to be kidding.  You know I can’t go out with you.  You’re…a nerd.”

I was heartbroken and I never really got over that.  Until I started going to Rhode Island Dolls shortly after I moved to Woonsocket that is.

There was a dancer there that looked so much like this girl in high school.  She even wore a cheerleader costume on the stage sometimes.  I was immediately drawn to her.  I daydreamed about her.  I thought about her all the time.  She was just like that girl that had laughed at me.  But she wasn’t just like her.

One night she came and sat with me.  We talked for hours.  Well, not really, but it seemed like it.  And every time I came back to RI Dolls, she took the time to come see me.  Sometimes I got a lap dance from her and then we talked.  But she was so friendly. 

It was only after our conversation that I realized that talking to girls wasn’t that big of a deal.  And I knew just the girl that I wanted to talk to and ask out in real life.  I normally wouldn’t have even considered it but my visits to RI Dolls and my visits with this particular doll had given me confidence. 

I was thinking of asking this real life girl out.  I knew that I needed to be confident if I was going to succeed this time.  So I thought about the dancer at the club that was so nice to me.  I daydreamed about watching her on stage, seeing her move in that slow and sensual way and seeing her slowly remove her clothing.  She’d always look at me with a big smile as if the dance was just for me.  That made me feel really good.

I went through our conversations in my mind.  I thought about how she paid attention and remembered that once she said I would make some girl really happy someday. 

And then she turned into the girl that I wanted to ask out.  I imagined myself talking to her just the way that I would talk to the dancer girl.  And it didn’t seem like such a big deal. 

So, the next time I saw her, that’s just what I did.  I talked to her.  And then I talked to her again several times.  And then I asked her out.  And she said yes. 

For a high school geek like me (and yes, I’m still a bit of a geek, just with a better build, now), especially one that had been laughed at by the girl of his dreams when he asked her out, it took so much to actually ask out this girl that I really liked.  And I knew that I never would have had the confidence if it hadn’t been for the dancer at Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket that actually made me feel good about myself again.