Most husbands hate it when their wives send them on errands. And for most husbands, it happens often. At least once or twice a week, am I right guys? Sometimes the wife wants to come, too. But I’ve found a way to work around that.
I just make it sound like I’m doing her a huge favor. I tell her to put a movie on for the kids, and sit back and relax. The kids are usually good with a movie for a little bit. Or, I offer to take them on a play date. There’s always a neighborhood mom that is happy to do me a favor if I add a couple errands in for her or if I promise to bring her a treat from her favorite bakery. Seriously, a little creativity goes a long way guys.
So, why exactly do I love doing errands on a Saturday afternoon when I could be playing golf? I’ll tell you…
I’ve got this whole errand thing down to an art. I’ve learned exactly where my wife’s favorite places are. As soon as I get in the car, I get on my phone and pre-order the things I need to pick up so that I can be in and out in the fraction of the time it might take otherwise. When I’m at the grocery store, I’m super focused. I go to the same place all the time because even though I sometimes might pay more for stuff, I know they have what my wife wants in stock. I’m in and out faster than you can blink an eye.
My wife thinks it’s just because I had to go to several places and the lineups were long that it takes me so long to get the errands done. What she doesn’t know that in the time I save being speedy at the errands gets spent at Rhode Island Dolls, the best strip club in Woonsocket, RI.
They open at 3 PM on Saturday afternoon and there’s no cover until 6 PM so that’s awesome. And because it isn’t quite as busy as normal, there aren’t a lot of other guys around to steal the attention of the dancers away from me. In fact, it is usually pretty quiet so the dancers are quite happy to see me.
I always make sure to have cash on hand to tip the girls that are performing in the afternoon. Since it is usually not the busiest shift, they are super happy that a paying customer has come in and they pull out their best moves.
I don’t drink alcohol in the afternoon because my wife will smell it on my breath and because I need to drive home, so that gives me a little extra spending money. And what do I do with that?
Well, I usually treat myself to a private dance. There’s one girl there that often works the Saturday afternoon shifts. I won’t tell you her name – my little secret – but she’s got booty to spare, she’s soft in all the right places, and she’s got a long mane of blonde hair that drives me wild. I just love it when she lets her hair dangle in my face as she’s dancing just for me. She smells like the ocean and her smile fills my dreams at night.
The funny thing is that my wife thinks I’m a big hero because I am always so willing to do the errands for her. While I’m enjoying the special attention of my bodacious blonde, my wife is getting a little well deserved rest as the kids play with their friends for a couple hours.
I get what I want without any grief.
Honestly, I think that my wife wouldn’t even care at this point if she knew the truth. But for now, I think it will be my little secret. I know she has her secrets, too. Everyone deserves to have some special time that is just for them.
So guys, get it together. Figure out how to do those errands super fast. Find someone that will let your kids hang out with their kids for a few hours. There is something they need in exchange so just figure it out and then provide it for them. Give your wife what she needs and then you get you have what you want – like a couple hours with the sexiest women you’ve ever seen at Rhode Island Dolls gentleman’s club in Woonsocket. Be creative and “doing errands” can be as much fun for you as it is for me!