I got divorced last year. Well, my wife left me for another man and we sold the house and the divorce went through about a year ago. I have to admit, the first few weeks after she left, I was in really bad shape. I was barely managing to go to work and keep my job. If I wasn’t working, I was sitting around my new bachelor pad feeling like crap, eating like crap, and living like crap. It was not a good thing.
But, after my buddies decided that I had punished myself enough the came over and insisted that I needed to start getting out again. I protested of course, but they told me that if I didn’t get up and drag my butt into the shower they were going to carry me in there and it wasn’t going to be pretty. So, I did what I was told. They made me get dressed and then they put me in the car.
I didn’t know where we were going but I didn’t care really. I wanted to stay home and binge watch something stupid on Netflix so I wouldn’t have to think. They took me to Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket, RI.
How cliché, I thought. A strip joint.
At first I just sat there. I refused to have a good time. I ate what they put in front of me. I drank the beer they gave me. But I was damned if I was going to enjoy life again.
Until this one dancer pulled me out of my funk. She didn’t actually try to do anything. She came on the stage and at first I refused to even look at her, like with the other dancers that had been on the stage. But then, somehow, she caught my eye. And she smiled. Her smile seemed so sincere. And I started watching her. Her beautiful body and the way she moved and the way that she appeared to really be enjoying herself on the stage – I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
After her stage time, she disappeared. I didn’t see her for a bit and then the next thing I knew, she was on the floor and she was heading right for me. She sat down beside me and she just talked to me. And she let me talk. And then she offered me a lap dance. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do that but my buddy pulled out some money and said, “Hey, this is her job. She’s here to make money and if she’s not making money she needs to move on.”
I didn’t want her to leave so she danced. Then she talked some more. Then my buddy pulled out some more money and told her I needed a private dance.
You know, there wasn’t anything in particular she said or did that brought me out of my funk. But I felt more alive than I had felt in…well, I wasn’t sure how long it had been. Since sometime before my wife had actually told me she was leaving.
We left later that night and I didn’t feel like my life was over. I went back with the guys. She wasn’t always there but that was ok. It wasn’t about her. It was about finding some joy in my life again. Sometimes I didn’t get lap dances or private dances. I would just enjoy the stage sets. Other times, I didn’t even sit near the stage. I just relaxed, ate good food, drank some beer, and enjoyed myself. I made friends with other customers. I started living again.
I don’t go to RI Dolls as much as I did in the first few months. I do things I like doing now. I started playing tennis again – because it’s fun and I enjoy pushing my boundaries. I went to restaurants I had been to in many years because my wife hated Indian food. I got a dog.
I don’t know if it was any one specific thing about Rhode Island Dolls that got me out of my divorce funk. All I know is that when my buddies dragged me there, things changed. I saw the possibilities again. I realized that my wife leaving me was not the end of the world. It was just the beginning of a new chapter in my life and I was perfectly capable of living a happy life without her.
Oh, and did I mention I started dating again? I did. She’s awesome. I’m not saying I’m going to marry her yet but, it is a new beginning.
That’s a good thing.