Finding Peace With My Past So I Could Move Forward At RI Dolls

My high school years were rough. I was one of the geeky crowd. I didn’t play sports and spent more time in the computer lab than hanging out with my fellow classmates. I studies a lot and I didn’t really date. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I did. My problem was that I always fell for the wrong girls. The ones that I never had a chance with.

There was one girl that I was crazy about all through my high school years. She was a head cheerleader and she was really nice. Or so I thought. It took me all three years of high school to get up the courage to talk to her and it was almost the end of senior year before I had the guts to ask her out. By that point, I actually thought I had a chance because she wasn’t like the other girls. She would actually talk to me in the halls sometimes – not necessarily a whole conversation but at least she didn’t ignore me.

I finally asked her out in the last month of the school year. It took a lot for me to do that. I really had to work myself up. And she laughed. It wasn’t a mean, mocking kind of laugh. More like a nervous laugh. She tried to let me down easy. But there was nothing she could do to soften the blow. By that point, I had convinced myself that she would actually say yes. But she didn’t.

I was heartbroken and I never really got over that. Until I started going to Rhode Island Dolls shortly after I moved to Woonsocket that is.

When I started going to Rhode Island Dolls, there was a dancer that looked so much like the girl that broke my heart in high school. And guess what her favorite costume was? That’s right – cheerleader. I couldn’t help being drawn to her. I thought about her all the time. She was just like that girl that had laughed at me. But she wasn’t just like her.

One night she came and sat with me. We talked for hours. Well, not really, but it seemed like it. And every time I came back to RI Dolls, she took the time to come see me. Sometimes I got a lap dance from her and then we talked. But she was so friendly.

It was only after our conversation that I realized that talking to girls wasn’t that big of a deal. And I knew just the girl that I wanted to talk to and ask out in real life. I normally wouldn’t have even considered it but my visits to RI Dolls and my visits with this particular doll had given me confidence.

I was thinking of asking this real life girl out. I knew that I needed to be confident if I was going to succeed this time. So I thought about the dancer at the club that was so nice to me. I daydreamed about watching her on stage, seeing her move in that slow and sensual way and seeing her slowly remove her clothing. She’d always look at me with a big smile as if the dance was just for me. That made me feel really good.

I went through our conversations in my mind. I thought about how she paid attention and remembered that once she said I would make some girl really happy someday.

And then she turned into the girl that I wanted to ask out. I imagined myself talking to her just the way that I would talk to the dancer girl. And it didn’t seem like such a big deal.

So, the next time I saw her, that’s just what I did. I talked to her. And then I talked to her again several times. And then I asked her out. And she said yes.

For a high school geek like me (and yes, I’m still a bit of a geek, just with a better build, now), especially one that had been laughed at by the girl of his dreams when he asked her out, it took so much to actually ask out this girl that I really liked. And I knew that I never would have had the confidence if it hadn’t been for the dancer at Rhode Island Dolls in Woonsocket that actually made me feel good about myself again.