Going to Rhode Island Dolls is like a right of passage for young guys in the Woonsocket, RI area. Most men have fond memories of the first time they walked through the doors of this posh gentleman’s club. But, there have also been a few dudes who drank too much, acted like fools, and can’t remember their adventure in the depths of human debauchery. Most guys know that there is an unwritten code of ethics when vising a strip club, especially an upscale club like RI Dolls. One of these codes is not to get drunk. Here’s 10 reasons why you shouldn’t get drunk at RI Dolls:
- You won’t get what you want.
Have you ever listed to a drunk guy talk? You probably couldn’t understand a word he said. Well, if you get smashed at RI Dolls, the strippers won’t be able to understand what you’re saying, either. So, you won’t get what you want. You’ll also be pretty aggravating because you’ll be babbling and talking in drunken slurs. Sexy strippers don’t want to be around that.
- You’ll yell and embarrass yourself.
You don’t want to be “that guy” who’s sitting at the stage yelling out to the dancers because you’re so plastered you can’t control yourself. You may think you’re funny, but your not. Not only will you embarrass yourself, but you’ll also embarrass the erotic dancers who are trying to put on a show for you and the other patrons at the club. You’ll also get warned by the bouncer to calm down. And if you don’t, you’ll be kicked out.
- You might pass out.
It’s not uncommon for people to drink too much and pass out. Just picture yourself sitting at a table eating a delicious appetizer with friends. But, you drank too much and you pass out, with your head landing in your Spinach and Artichoke Dip. Not only is that a waste of good food, but you’ve also just ruined everyone’s night.
- You may try to touch a Doll
This runs into another code of ethics about how you should behave in a strip club, which is that you can’t touch the girls. They are not there for you to paw, grab, poke, or any other type of touching. Most dudes can obey this rule, but drunk guys never seem to remember. Either they think they are above the rules, or they are so sloshed they just don’t care. Either way, touching a Doll inappropriately could get you kicked out of the club.
- You may go too far.
Going deeper than #4, drunk guys often think they themselves are so hot that every exotic dancer at RI Dolls wants them. Which isn’t true. But because you’ve been drinking you may mistake a little niceness and flirting for something more, and you’ll try to pull some dirty business. There are laws in the state of Rhode Island and you must abide by them, including prostitution laws. And if you think you’re so hot that the Dolls will want you for free, think again.
- You’ll spend too much money.
While every strip club wants you to spend money, they don’t want you to have to mortgage your house because of a bad night of reckless spending. When you’re bombed, you don’t have any inhibitions, including financial inhibitions. So you’ll be more apt to spend much more than you intended. Especially if you have a credit card.
- You’ll spend money the wrong way.
Yes, having a couple good drinks is all part of the pleasure of being at a strip club. But instead of spending all your money on alcohol, use some of that money for a few more lap dances instead. You’ll enjoy it more, and the dancers will appreciate it more.
- You won’t be able to drive home.
Drinking and driving is a big no-no. So if you’re three sheets to the wind, how are you going to get home? Oh, spend money on a cab? But you spent all your money on booze and boobs. Now what? You’ll probably have to call your wife or girlfriend to pick you up, and they won’t be happy about it.
- You won’t remember anything.
A night at Rhode Island Dolls is always a great night. But, if you get inebriated you won’t remember your awesome night at the best gentleman’s club in Rhode Island. What a shame that would be. Why even bother going if you can’t remember what happened, and can’t tell your buddies all about your crazy night?
- You’ll have horrible anxiety the next day.
If you got so tanked that you can’t remember what happened the night before, how do you know you behaved yourself? In addition to having a horrible hangover, you’ll be wracked with anxiety, hoping you didn’t do anything “bad” at the club.
These are only 10 reasons why you shouldn’t get drunk at RI Dolls, or any other strip club. There are many more. There is a line between having a few drinks to loosen up and have fun, and getting smashed and making an ass out of yourself. As long as you don’t cross that line, you’ll have an awesome night. And one that you’ll always remember.